Honouring and Celebrating Fathers with the Gift of Radical Self-Care

By Kedumetse Mvula

Fatherhood in South Africa holds deep cultural, emotional, and societal significance. Yet, in the midst of life’s pressures, many fathers and father figures carry silent burdens—expected to be providers, protectors, and leaders, often without the emotional or psychological support they truly need. It’s time we rewrite that narrative. 

Honouring our fathers isn't just about celebrating them on Father's Day—it’s about creating space for their healing, growth, and well-being. Radical self-care is not a luxury for men; it's a necessity. When fathers prioritise their mental, emotional, and physical health, the ripple effect strengthens the family unit, uplifts communities, and fosters generational change.

This blog is a heartfelt celebration of those incredible present fathers and father figures. Whether he’s your partner, your dad, your stepdad, your grandfather, your uncle, your brother, a mentor, or a friend who has played the role of a father. This year, let’s go beyond the generic tie, socks or coffee mug. Let’s shine a light on their importance, reflect on their impact,  encourage and honour them with presence, appreciation, and the gift of radical self-care.

The Power of an Emotionally and Physically Present Father

Many families have experienced the absence of fathers—whether through historical injustices, economic challenges, or social patterns. But there's a beautiful, powerful shift happening: More fathers are choosing to be present.

A present father doesn’t just provide financially, he connects emotionally, nurtures, protects, teaches, and models how to love and live with integrity. He holds space for his children’s emotions. He shows up when it matters the most, whether it is at school events, supporting his partner, cooking dinner when you're too tired, listening and engaging with his children in a meaningful way, and giving the best advice and hugs when everything feels like too much.

Father figures—stepdads, uncles, grandfathers, even older brothers and close family friends—can also have this impact. Their presence can break generational cycles, heal wounds, and plant seeds of confidence and security in children and partners alike.

Let’s take a moment to breathe that in. If you have or know a present father—you are blessed, and so is your family.

Radical Self-Care for Fathers: A Game Changer

Men — especially fathers — often carry heavy emotional and psychological loads that go unspoken and unnoticed. Societal expectations demand strength, stoicism, and self-sacrifice. But inside, many are fighting silent battles: stress from financial pressures, fears of inadequacy, mental health struggles, identity crises, trauma, and burnout. Issues like unemployment, substance abuse, generational trauma, and unresolved childhood wounds compound these pressures. 

Most men are not socialised to express vulnerability, and asking for help is seen as weakness. This leads to suppressed emotions, which over time, manifest in destructive ways — aggression, emotional unavailability, or even physical illness.

When we fail to acknowledge these internal struggles, we rob our fathers and male figures of the opportunity to heal, grow, and be fully present. That’s where radical self-care becomes not a luxury — but a necessity.

You’ve heard the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” That applies to dads, too. A father who prioritises self-care is more patient, more present, more peaceful, and more powerful.

So, what does radical self-care for fathers look like?

• Physical well-being – enough sleep, regular exercise, nutritious food.

• Mental and emotional health – space to feel, reflect, and speak without judgment.

• Joy and rest – time for hobbies, fun, and doing nothing without guilt.

• Connection – honest conversations, time with friends, and quality family moments.

• Spiritual wellness – prayer, meditation, being in nature, or connecting with purpose.

When fathers take care of themselves, they show their children what healthy masculinity looks like. They become more resilient and emotionally intelligent—leading with strength and softness.

How Families Can Support Fathers in Their Self-Care Journey

Honouring fathers is not about perfection. It’s about presence, love and support. Supporting their self-care journey is not about nagging. It’s about inviting fathers to step into rest, joy, healing and inner growth. Here are ways you and your family can encourage and support fathers in prioritising their radical self-care:

1.Acknowledge Their Efforts 

Tell them you see them. Recognition goes a long way. Thank and appreciate them for the little things they do every day – verbal appreciation builds emotional connection. Affirm his worth by telling him how hard he works and that he deserves rest and peace too.

2. Give Permission (Yes, Really)

Sometimes fathers need to hear it's okay to rest, take a break, or ask for help. Let them know that caring for themselves is not selfish—it’s leadership. 

3. Create Space

Encourage alone time. Whether it’s a few hours to listen to music, read, sleep in, go for a walk/run or to the gym or time with friends—protect his time and his quite moments to nurture their mental and emotional wellbeing. Make it part of the family rhythm.

4. Celebrate Their Passions and Support Their growth

Help him reconnect with what brings him joy—running, gym, hiking, music, gardening, photography, braaiing with friends. Joy is healing. Encourage them to engage in hobbies, spiritual practices, attend men’s support groups, go to therapy or start that side hustle they’ve shelved for years. Growth is self-care. 

5. Start and Encourage Open Conversations

Practice open conversations and active listening as a family. Ask: “How are you really doing?” or “ How are you really feeling” or “What do you need from us right now or this week?” Small check-ins open doors to deeper connection. Encourage open conversations by talking openly about stress, dreams and emotions. Remove the stigma of therapy – if he is hesitant about therapy or journaling, reassure him that strength also lies in vulnerability. 

6. Lead by Example

Show him how you practice radical self-care, too. Self-care in a family should be mutual, supportive, and guilt-free.

7.  Rebuild Cultural Narratives

Challenge toxic masculinity and outdated gender roles. Affirm that real strength is in being whole, not hard.

Thoughtful and Meaningful Father’s Day Gift Ideas 

Let’s skip the ties, socks, pajamas and mugs. You also don’t need to break the bank to show a father that you appreciate them.

Here are some intentional, heartfelt gift ideas to remind them they are more than providers and gifts that say:  “I see you. I appreciate you”. “You matter. Your wellbeing matters”. 

• Self-Care Box - Fill a box with his favourites: herbal tea/coffee, a journal, a book he’s been meaning to read, a personalised note, shower gel, room diffuser for his office, favourite snacks or a cozy blanket.

• Dad’s Day Out Voucher - Plan a solo day just for him—golf, fishing, hiking, or a trip to his favourite café or restaurant. A voucher for massage or spa or grooming session. Tickets to a museum or music festival or concert or his favourite sport match. 

• Digital Detox Afternoons and Radical Rest Days - Put together a phone-free afternoon plan—picnic, hammock time, or even a nap—with the family handling all the usual responsibilities. Plan Radical Rest Day that gives him a guilt free day to do whatever fills his cup – sleep, golf, watch movies or sport, or do nothing at all. 

• Mental Health App or Therapy Session Voucher - Investing in his emotional health is priceless. Many therapists in South Africa now offer online sessions at accessible rates. 

• Subscription Gifts - Whether it’s a magazine he loves, a Spotify or audiobook subscription, or a gym membership—choose something he can enjoy regularly. 

• Quality Time Gift Card - Create a fun handmade card offering a “Movie Night of Your Choice,” “Sleep-In Sunday,” or “Dad’s Choice Dinner Night.” Let him be a king for the day.

• The Love Jar - Take a few minutes and involve the kids to create a love tribute. Reflect on what he means to you and reasons you love and appreciate him. Write down on a pieces of paper specific memories, qualities you admire, and how his presence has shaped your life. Place all pieces of paper in a  decorated jar labelled “Love Jar”. Handwritten notes carry emotional weight. 

• Experience Over Stuff - Plan a simple family hike, braai in the park, or a storytelling evening where everyone shares their favourite “dad” memory.

• A Gratitude Letter or Book – Gather the family and write him a heartfelt letter, sharing paragraphs about what you love and honour about him and frame it. For a book, gather stories from family members and put them together into a mini-book of appreciation. 

• Create a Memory Jar - Get the family together to write down funny stories, kind words, and shared memories on small notes. Place them in a decorated jar that he can keep and read anytime he needs a reminder of how loved he is.

• Healing Book Collection – Start a book collection for him. Choose books that speak to emotional growth and manhood: “Cry Like a Man” by Jason Wilson; “The Way of the Superior Man” by David Deida; “Fatherhood” by Barack Obama

• A Family Appreciation Video – Do a video with the kids and loved ones expressing what his presence means to them. This emotional reminder can uplift him on even his hardest days.

Let's Celebrate Fathers with Purpose

It’s time we change the narrative. As a partner, daughter, sister, or friend - let us move beyond obligation and step into intention. This Father’s Day, don’t just give a gift—create a moment. Speak your appreciation.

Let’s honour the ways a father or father figure in your life holds it all together and choose to raise their children with love, gentleness, and honesty—even when it’s hard. Acknowledge his quiet strength. Celebrate not just what they do—but who they’re becoming. And most of all, encourage him to care for himself as deeply as he cares for everyone else.

In a world that is filled with chaos, let your home be the difference by celebrating the men who show up, not just with their wallets, but with their hearts. Let’s affirm the dads who are learning to be present, not just in body but in heart, who are healing generational wounds, who are growing, trying and showing love in the ways they know how. Let’s uplift them with intentional love. Let’s raise our voices to say: “We see you. We honour you. And we want you well.”

This will teach our children—especially our sons—that taking care of themselves is part of being strong, loving, and whole.

www.radicalcarelife.com